marriage talk from Anthony & patrice martin

A day in the life of a firefighter can vary depending on the type of emergency they are called to. Firefighters are not just first responders trained to control and extinguish fires that threaten life and property, but they also respond to crises like vehicle accidents, medical emergencies, rescue persons from confinement, or dangerous situations. Whenever the sound goes off in the firehouse, the firefighters have a protocol for getting to a fire. Try picturing these professionals moving urgently, realizing that someone’s life may be in grave danger. They treat each situation with the same importance, realizing the harmful effects it can have; no problem is too small. They are trained to put out fires before they spread and cause massive damage. 

A fire is a swift, determined chemical change that releases heat and light accompanied by flames. Sounds serious, right? So can the disputes between a husband and a wife. The key is to get right to putting out your conflicts before they spread and cause emotional harm to your relationship. What makes a fire dangerous is its potential to spread very fast. So, can many unresolved conflicts be between you and your spouse? No disagreement is too small and must be treated carefully and with urgency. Don’t let unsettling emotions linger because they can infuse disgruntled and contentious behavior. 

If you and your spouse employed the firefighter metaphor to approach your disagreements, how quickly could you reach solutions? The last thing you need is to have tension spreading and causing injury to your marriage. The fireman understands that timing is critical to preserving life. His number one priority is making sure the fire is put out to avoid fatality. Every married couple would agree that a challenge can arise within a marriage at any given time, whether it be an emergency that poses a damaging threat or a pesky distraction that threatens the peace and harmony in the union. The husband and the wife must approach every sort of challenge with urgency. Such resolution demonstrates determination and intentionality.

Regarding maintaining a healthy marriage, it is essential to remember that discord does not just “work itself out.” A readiness to spring into action and persevere is what it takes. Even when times are calm and easy, couples must always be attentive and ready to respond at any given time. In 1 Peter 5:8, Peter writes, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” You have an adversary who seeks every opportunity to sow contention and confusion in your marriage and family. He will use any inattentive source to create a crisis in your marriage. Just as firefighters spend downtime sharpening their response skills, similarly, you must do the same in your marriage. Be alert and ready through prayer and study of God’s word – in your own time and with your spouse. Pour into one another by spending time together, communicating, and building up one another. Don’t wait until the next conflict before you spring into action, but handle your marriage with urgency now so that you can respond to and overcome any challenges to come. 

Have you ever heard the sirens of a fire truck as the vehicle races through the streets? The sound of the sirens is an indication there is an emergency. So is every dispute that you have. Don’t brush it off or marginalize it. Every second is critical, and the longer the flames from a dispute remain, the farther they spread, which can hinder the emotional progression of your relationship. Train yourselves to put out your disagreements immediately; this will become a practice well into your later years of marriage.